Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I don't know how you do it

By Tom Doty-


I have heard this comment many times over the last year.  Sometimes referring to taking care of twin, often referring to how I was able to handle the roller coaster of being in the NICU.  The easy response I give is "I had no choice."


This is a cop out on my part.  Me protecting my inner feelings.  This weekend past weekend we held our girls 1st birthday.  What a great day we had family, friends and even some of our NICU nurses.  It was a about 3 weeks after their birthday but we needed time to plan.  On the Monday after their party, August 19th was another anniversary for my family.  A bitter sweet weekend. As it was one year ago my cousin passed suddenly at the age of 41.  


My Uncle has 3 children; two beautiful daughters and his son Scott.  Scott left us too soon 1 year ago.  I have watched the hurt and the strength of my Uncle and other cousins.  The fact is once a child has touched your heart you are never the same.  Whether you spend 107 days in the NICU or 41 years together they are forever embedded in you.  


It is time to stop copping out.  How did I do it...How did I make that trip everyday to see my girls in the NICU...I needed to. I needed to see them.  They comforted me and let me know life was good.  They showed me to how to never give up.  And at only 1 month old after I returned from my cousin's funeral I made the trip to the NICU.  Our nurse unaware of where I was that day asked if I wanted to hold one of my baby girls.  And this micro preemie attached to monitors provided a miracle.  She eased my suffering.  She comforted me.  I needed her that day more then she needed me.  And she was there for me.  


I write in Honor of my cousin Scott.  He lived by the motto "Actions Speak Louder than Words!"  At the age of 40 he started dirt track racing.  On this day I raise up the number 4 (the number of his car) in Honor of him.  4ever in my heart Scott.  Thank you to my little girls for their support.

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