Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Fear of the Unknown

By Tom Brinegar

Fear is natural but it's taken to a new level when it is from the unknown. Like when Teagan was born, not knowing where this road may lead but willing to take it for fearing what will happen if you don't. On June 9th 2010 I took a such road when she was born knowing Kelly and I have and will do what ever it will take to show her what it feels like to know love like no other.

When Teagan was in the NICU Kelly didn't see her for the first 24 hours due to the c-section and the medications she was on after it. So I would go to the NICU for awhile and go back to Kelly's room to give a update on how she was doing every hour or two even though I have been up 24 hours because I just got off work at 8am that morning. It was in one of those hourly updates when I was sitting by Teagan's side that one of the nurses ask if I wanted to hold her and I said that her mom is going to be the first one out of the two of us that is going to hold her because as a parent of a child from a previous marriage I got to hold my first child for the first time.

That may sound weird but if Teagan was going to be held by one of us for the first time it was going to be her mother, and when Kelly asked if I have held her yet and I said no, I went on to explain why. It was at that moment that I saw the look in her eyes and knew she got it and I also knew I made the right choice. Kelly and I have been down many roads of unknown filled with fears even leading up to our NICU stay but we have faith and believe 100% that every thing happens for one reason or another. So I leave you with this have faith and enjoy the roads of the unknown even though you may have fear you will never be alone.

1 comment:

  1. I loved reading this and getting this glimpse of NICU life through Papa's eyes. Thank you.